GordonWatch 2011/12!

 

Wednesday 22nd February 2012

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

It was again a brief encounter, with Gordon mostly repeating "They didn't play did they"?

He could be referring to Milli Vanilli or The Monkees, or he might be talking about Siegfried and Roy's hungry and not quite tamed lions, but he's most likely alluding to the fact that Man Utd did not have a match at the weekend.

This week's image of Gordon has not really got much of Gordon on show. All of Gordon is actually in it, but is obscured by a tourist.

Gordon's Word:  WHO'S THAT ON YOUR PHONE? IS IT YOUR MUM?

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Wednesday 15th February 2012

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Keeping it short this week, as Gordon was in a bit of rush.

Staying abreast of the latest crazes, we have not only been joining in with the "cat breading" phenomenon currently sweeping the internet, Gordon is also getting in on the act. No creatures suffered any discomfort, in fact Mollycat got some biscuits, and Mrs M got some bread.

Gordon's Word: FLIPPING COLD INNIT. CAN'T STOP, GOT A BUS TO CATCH. BUGGER MISSED IT.....NO I HAVEN'T.

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Wednesday February 8th 2012

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK" 

As my old dad never used to say, " There's two sides to every tramp".

If he had actually said it, this week's images of Gordon could not be more appropriate. One minute he's a mixing, mingling tramp about town, and the next he's cutting a lonesome solitary figure. I guess that's tramp life.

Caught up with AFCB's Donal Mcdermott this week, so we'll get him to go head to head with The TrampVoyant and Mystic M in a Pychic Football Score Predict-Off Special very soon.

As promised, prepare to drop your jaw with this week's Bit of Information From Gordon About Himself That You Probably Didn't Know!!! Add it to last weeks (part 5) and be very stunned!!!

Gordon's Word: IT DIDN'T SNOW, DID IT?

Bit of Information From Gordon About Himself That You Probably Didn't Know 6:   I HAD SIX SISTERS

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Wednesday February 1st 2012

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Pinch and a punch, first of the month! No returns!

Gordon is a restless tramp this week, as his trousers are falling down a lot. 

Check out this week's Bit of Information From Gordon About Himself etc (BoIFGAHTYPDK). It's AMAZING!!!! 

Just wait until you read next week's bit of info from Gordon that he's parted with early. It's a jawdropper, it really, really is!!! 

Gordon's Word:  IT'S GONNA SNOW!

Bit of Information From Gordon About Himself That You Probably Didn't Know 5:   I HAD SIX BROTHERS

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Wednesday January 25th 2012

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

It's short and it's sweet, but it's here nonetheless.

After haggling at the AFC Bournemouth ticket office over the price of admission, he was off like a shot. Disappearing into the crowd, he at least gives us a "Where's Gordy" game.

Gordon's Word:  AAAARRGGHH. I'M NOT PAYING THAT!

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Wednesday January 18th 2012

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

He really is a busy man this week. Places to go, people to yell at.

After briefly "feeding the ducks" (pigeons), with a "Too busy, gotta go", he was gone.

Gordon's Word: I'M FEEDING THE DUCKS

 

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Wednesday January 11th 2012

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK" 

Can't tell if he's batting above or below his average.

Wouldn't like to say who, but I suspect somebody has lowered their standards. Either way, standing outside a pub watching the racers speed by seems like fun. Sure he's been on worse dates.

Gordon's Word: BRRRRR! VERY COLD!!

Bit of Information From Gordon About Himself That You Probably Didn't Know 4: WE HAD A BIG TREE IN THE GARDEN. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? IT BLEW DOWN AND LANDED ON THE SHED!

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Wednesday January 4th 2012

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Where's Gordy??? Free haircut for the first client to tell us the exact whereabouts of our wandering vagabond in this week's picture.

Gordon's Thoughts on The New Year: They were all p****d up, weren't they! There were no buses!

Gordon's Word: GOOD GAME, GOOD GAME.

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Wednesday December 21st

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

He's looking a bit "special" for his Christmas photo.

He's healthy, happy and he's not going out on Christmas Day apparently!

Gordon's Word:  STAY IN, GET MOANED AT

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Wedneday December 14th

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Nothing mysterious about this week's picture. It's just a happy, freshly washed tramp. 

Gordon's Word:  GONNA RAIN

Bit of Information From Gordon About Himself That You Probably Didn't Know 3: WE HAD AN ELECTRIC FENCE, DIDN'T WANT TO TOUCH THAT...AAAARGH

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Wednesday December 7th

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

It's a spooky action shot this week. Just managed to get the picture before the Dementors swooped down and took Gordon away. Expecto Patronum!!!

Not really, the'yre just Christmas lights. Not sure about the mysterious stripe down the centre of the image. Is it a digital glitch or is it something else? It's a digital glitch..........isn't it? 

Have just realised that Gordon's Word this week is referring to the number of AFC Bournemouth home games left before we welcome in 2012. Wondered what he was on about!

Gordon's Word: ONE MORE THIS YEAR

Bit of Information From Gordon About Himself That You Probably Didn't Know 2: WE HAD A BULL...BIG BUGGER...MOOOOOO

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Wednesday November 30th

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

He's not in hibernation. He never was! He's wide awake!

"AAArgh Bournemouth, they better buck their ideas up.....plenty of chances. Aaargh, my bloody feet are killing me. It's gonna snow. Three weeks to Christmas. What are you doing"?  

We have a new "something" going on this week, and that "something" is "Bit of Information From Gordon About Himself That You Probably Didn't Know (of the Week)". 

This will be a regular feaure. It's title may change to something snappier, but it will definitely remain until Gordon decides not to reveal any more. Each week, the tramp will open his heart and give a little bit of himself. Collect them all, and you will have the ultimate autobiography!!! 

Gordon's Word: ALRIGHT DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG

Olympic Torchbearing Update: I'M TOO OLD TO DO THE TORCH

Bit of Information From Gordon About Himself That You Probably Didn't Know 1: I GREW UP ON A FARM!

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Wednesday November 23rd

"NOTGORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

It's Autumn, and it would appear that Gordon has gone into hibernation. He may be in a straw filled cardboard box, he may not. Either way, we have no GordonWatch this week.

We can offer "NotGordonWatch" as we did manage to find one tramp that hasn't hibernated.

I know he's not Gordon, but he is a tramp.

He wears a kilt, three coats and non matching multi-coloured striped socks.

He also rides a heavily laden bike, carries a fishing rod (it's in the photo leaning against the building), and he fishes on the pavement.

Never seen him catch anything yet.

If we can collect enough different tramp's details, we could set up a game of Tramp Top Trumps. Top Tramps!

NotGordon's Word: I'VE GOT NO IDEA

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Wednesday November 16th   

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

This week, Gordon is doing mime. 

Firstly, stooping to simulate Lampard's low header for England against Spain, saying "It was just like that, wasn't it? Get in!".

The second Give Us a Clue moment was pretending to use binoculars. This was explained by Gordon: "When I'm at the game, I can't see the other end where the goal is. It's too far". Neither mime was caught on film, and with an "Aye aye, a bit of crumpet coming", he was gone.

No Psychic Football Score Predict-Off this week. It will come as no surprise that The TrampVoyant was again correct last week. Once more, a pro footballer was found to be no match for The TrampVoyant's psychic stylings. At one point, the score was 2-1, and then 3-1, but ultimately finished 3-3. Unlucky Shaun.

 

Gordon's Word:  WHO ORDERED A TAXI?

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Wednesday November 9th    

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Well, we didn't manage to get Gordon's view on the new Russian Millionaire money that's coming into AFCB. Hopefully, we'll bring that to you next week.

For one reason or another (mainly the other), we only just managed to get his Word of theWeek. Luckily, he offered up a Mystic Score Prediction so The TrampVoyant is back in business! Bring it on!!!

In honour of our Special Guest Predictor, Gordon has done something with his hair.

Gordon's Word: IT'S DRIZZLING

"MYSTIC M'S PSYCHIC FOOTBALL SCORE PREDICT-OFF"

We've not had a Predict-Off for a few weeks now. The last one saw The TrampVoyant pit his tramply psychic wits against football agent Christopher Adedeji. Unfortunately, in that round there were no winners.

This time, Gordon is up against the incredibly modest and extremely talented footballer that is Shaun MacDonald. He's a flame haired Welsh Zidane and he's a very nice man!

The last M(a)cD that The TrampVoyant took on was footballer Donal McDermott, and The TrampVoyant kicked his butt with a bookie bashing 22/1 2-2 draw. That paid £312 for a £12 stake!!!

Every time Donal had a haircut at Mister M's Barber Shop, he scored in his next match! Free goal with every haircut!!! We haven't cut his hair since he was transferred to Huddersfield Town FC, and coincidentally he hasn't scored a single league goal for them!

AFC Bournemouth v Gillingham FC:

Shaun MacDonald:  3-1

Mystic M:  2-1

The TrampVoyant:  It's definitely a draw, isn't it?

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Wednesday November 2nd

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

The trampster's looking "street worn" at the moment. He's appearing a bit tired and rough around the edges, and he's not liking the "f*****g rain" apparently.

Strangely, Gordon's very interested in my welfare at the moment, and what I'm up to. Almost motherly. Think I may be in line for a Christmas Day dinner invite.

Next week we'll get Gordon's view on the new part owner and investor in AFC Bournemouth, the very welcome......Russian multimillionaire, Mister Max Demin.....RED ARMY!!!!

Go on Mister M, get that ground back in the club's hands. You know you want to!

Gordon's Word: WHERE ARE YOU GOING? HOME?

Mister M's Word: ......MILLIONAIRES!....UP THE CHERRIES!

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Wednesday October 26th

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"  

It's two for the price of one this week! Bargains all round!

First up is Gordon at the German Market in Bournemouth Square.

The second installment is Gordon haggling over the price of a matchday programme at Dean Court. He wouldn't let me go until I'd taken a picture of him in bargaining action!

Gordon's Word Pt 1:  TAKES UP SO MUCH ROOM, DOESN'T IT? LOOK, I CAN'T AFFORD THAT!!

Gordon's Word Pt 2:  A POUND, GO ON, A POUND. WATCH.....50P!!!  WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Mister M's Word (following on from last week's):  ANY DAY NOW.....HERE IT COMES....

 

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Wednesday October 19th

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Fortunately, we do have a "Word of the Week", but only just.

Caught up with Gordon very last minute so didn't have time for much of a chat, with the wanderer's attention very much focused on an upright but very still pigeon. We would be putting up a picture of Gordon with said bird, but time did not allow. Gordon kept repeating that it was "in the club" and who am I to argue.

He really did think long and hard about this week's word, and was very passionate and pleased with his effort. Big thumbs up.

Gordon's Word:  C'MON BOURNEMOUTH!

Mister M's Word: .......STILL WAITING FOR THE ANNOUNCEMENT

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Wednesday October 12th

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Unfortunately, we have no "Word of the Week" from Gordon. We had planned a "Poole Speedway Special" but capacity crowd level on Monday night meant that it was impossible to get to the rendez-vous point. Basically, I wasn't going to risk losing my seat for anything ....my bad.

Congratulations to Poole Pirates on becoming well deserved Elite League Champions 2011!! Justice for 2010 in the face of the ridiculous rule that is the "Tactical Substitute".

Also, congratulations are in order for AFC Bournemouth staff for arranging what will be headline news very, very soon. GET INNNN!!!!!

Very exciting times for the club, as The Cherries Rollercoaster powers on.

As we have no photograph of Gordon from this week, we are going to play our Gordon Joker and are bringing in a tramp replacement.....our very own "Tactical Substitute".   

Mister M's Word of the Week:  THIS TIME NEXT WEEK, WE'LL BE........

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Wednesday October 5th

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

It was a very interesting meet with Gordon this week, as he was really keen to fill me in on a bit of his life story. Instead of just throwing it down on here in a couple of paragraphs, I will do something a bit more interesting with it in the near future.

This week's photo was actually taken last Saturday. Gordonphiles would probably have noticed this, as he's carrying his trusty radio which can mean only one thing.......football scores!!!

He really likes his football, but it's Speedway (and ice cream) that Gordon's got on his mind. He's really looking forward to next week, as Monday will see Poole Pirates v Eastbourne Eagles in a 2nd leg play-off final to decide the Elite League. Gordon's going, and he can't wait!!!

Gordon's Word:  WANT AN ICE CREAM

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Wednesday September 28th

"MISTER M'S PSYCHIC FOOTBALL SCORE PREDICT-OFF"

It's back, and this week The TrampVoyant is going up against Chris Adedeji.

Mister Adedeji is a football agent and has recently engineered the deal for Ivory Coast international Max Gradel,  from a very northern club to a French club for the princely sum of millions. He is also the representative of Guadeloupe international and AFC Bournemouth newcomer Stephane Zubar, hence the attire.

Tranmere Rovers v AFC Bournemouth:

Mister Adedeji the Football Agent: It would be unfair for me to say.

Mystic M: 1-2 away win.

The TrampVoyant: Bit difficult, make it a draw.

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Gordon is a very happy non-homeless man this week. Beaming from ear to ear, and giving the big thumb(nail)s up, the roaming Romeo has certainly got a way with the ladies.....very smooth! 

Gordon's Word: ALRIGHT DING-DONG, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? CAN I COME?

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Wednesday September 21st

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

"Tramp is on Track to be Torch Bearer" screamed the tabloids. They didn't really scream it (ironic journalistic license),  but they did give him a lot of coverage this week. Like a dog on his way to the vets for de-testifying, he's wagging his tail but he's not entirely sure what's in store.

As Gordon points his long figer of fate to a red-top newspaper article, he says: "Don't know if I'm coming or going, 18,000 look!....People keep asking me where the Olympian Stadium is....Do you know?.....Where?.....I'm not going, cost about a hundred quid in a taxi"!!

Gordon's Word:  ROONEY! WHAT'S HE WEARING? HIGH HEELS?

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Wednesday September 14th

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

When it comes to Gordon's opinion on the AFC Bournemouth Chairman's post match entertainment, he's not mincing his Words of the Week. Saying that, even Gordon could see that Mr Mitchell was applauding the fans. A couple of supporters then started a slow handclap, Mr Mitchell decided to clap in time with that and the rest is history.

Didn't see Gordy away at The Orient. Did see some passionate footballers that care deeply about their club and it's loyal supporters though. 1-3 away win. Get in!!!

Mister M's Psychic Football Score Predict-Off didn't get off to a great start though. Bournemouth lost the headline grabbing game 3-1. Get out!!!

As Gordon commented...."Played well first half, could have won that."

As the Wandering Wordsmith also commented...."Where are you going now? Your mate went that way."

Gordon's Word:  P****D UP WASN'T HE 

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Wednesday September 7th

"MISTER M'S PSYCHIC FOOTBALL SCORE PREDICT-OFF"    

It's back, it's back, it's back this week. Doesn't mean that it will still be here next week though, as it's likely to be restricted to guest appearances. 

Anybody that placed money on The TrampVoyant's predictions last season, made an incredible profit. Winning!

Who can forget that mighty 3-3, weighing in at £1012.50 for a £12.50 stake at odds of 80/1? Winning!

The last instalment of "Mister M's Psychic Football Score Predict-Off" featured Special Guest Predictor, pro footballer Donal McDermott.

IRONICALLY... Donal was playing for AFC Bournemouth against Huddersfield Town FC in the match that he was predicting on.

MORE IRONICALLY... The TrampVoyant correctly predicted 2-2 for 90 mins play, with the bookies paying out £312 for a £12 stake at odds of 25/1!!! Winning!

EVEN MORE IRONICALLY... Donut is now Playing for said Huddersfield Town FC!! 

It's all in GordonWatch Archive if you want to check it out!

To kick off the 2011-2012 season, The TrampVoyant (Gordon) will be going up against Skip the Rigger. Skip is from the Deep South in The US of A, and is a friend of and currently touring with Dolly Parton (.)(.) 

AFC Bournemouth v Chesterfield FC: 

Skip the Rigger: 2-1...High Five!

Mystic M: 1-1

The TrampVoyant: Put me down for a 2-1.

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Thanks go to Gordon for making me miss the start of the England v Bulgaria match. I took him at his word when he told me it kicked off at 7:45. It didn't, and we were 2-0 up and 25 minutes into the match when I turned on the TV! Doh!

This week, he is mostly eating....chips! He loves his chips, does Gordon.

Gordon's Word:  GONNA BE FIT TO CARRY THE TORCH!

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Wednesday 31st August 

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK" 

This is GordonWatch and earlier this week, millions (guessing it's millions) did indeed WatchGordon on ITV's "This Morning Live". Gordon was telling me that they want to do another interview in the near future about the Olympic Torchbearing business, but he may just be confused. Latest update on that is: "Might do it, might not. Might rain. Read my lips...shhh...I'll surprise them. Surprise!!!"

Free haircut for the first person to identify the exact location of this week's photo!

Gordon's Word:  MY FEET HURT

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Wednesday 24th August 

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

After asking if I had seen all the flowers of tribute at the Town Hall, Gordon said he would like me to publish the following comment in relation to recent events in Bournemouth: "Very sad."

Mister M's Psychic Football Score Predict-Off is close to making it's return. I had the chance to offer WBA FC goalkeeping coach, Dean Kylie the chance to be this week's Special Guest Predictor, but he seemed to be a humourless plum when our paths crossed so have given that one a miss. Gordon's practice prediction from last week, "BIT AWKWARD, MIGHT RAIN" was prophetic to say the least. They were kayaking in the Lower Gardens, roads were being ripped up by collapsing drains, and walls came tumbling down. He does look a little bit like Moses.

He got distracted by a female passer-by when posing for this weeks pic, so with an "ALRIGHT DING DONG," his head was turned.

Kayaker's Word: IT SMELLS OF ****

Gordon's Word:   PEEING DOWN

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Wednesday 17th August 

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK" 

Well, it all kicked off whilst GordonWatch was taking it's Summer holiday. Gord was making the headlines with his bid by proxy to carry the Olympic Torch for London 2012, not to mention all the rioters looting Argos and getting away with hundreds of catalogues. Good news though, the crime rate was actually down for the week in some of those areas.

The website attracted more viewers as the media couldn't get enough of the non-homeless homeless that is Gordon. Even the BBC had been keeping an eye on GordonWatch and wanted to do an interview. Apologies Beeb, but didn't get message until late. Wait until the news breaks about Gordon being an ex Spitfire pilot....that'll raise a few eyebrows! 

As if Gordon's fortnight hadn't been exciting enough, Poole Speedway presented the vagabond (along with four AFCB footballers) a Poole Pirates scarf, with the presentation taking place in the middle of the track.  He was genuinely scared...."Flipping noisy. You wanna go stand in the middle for 5 or 10 minutes with all that vroom vrooming, bikes flipping everywhere." (He didn't say flipping.)

As for the Olympic Torchbearing, up to the minute info from the ex-pilot is "I'm too old."

When asked if he wants me to publish that as his press release, he added "but I might....I'll surprise them."

By unpopular request, "Mister M's Psychic Football Score Predict-Off" will be back very soon. Gordon needs to do a bit of mental stretching before we kick that particular season off. His prediction for Carlisle v AFC Bournemouth is: BIT AWKWARD, MIGHT RAIN, so we'll call that one a practice.

Gordon's Word: FOOTBALL

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Wednesday 27th July

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

This week's GordonWatch comes from Poole Speedway.

After watching the Under 21 World Championship, Gordon went into chat overdrive....all throttle with no brakes. The final comment being "What a week. Bus fare, football, bus fare, speedway, programme, bus fare. Forty quid!"

He then pointed at a line of St John Ambulances.....

Gordon's Word:  LOOK AT ALL THOSE ICE CREAM VANS

Wednesday 20th July

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Congratulations are most definitely in order!

Well done to Gordon on being selected as "The Face of Bournemouth Hair Festival's Unofficial Patrons" for the second year running!!!

The everknowledgable evergreen was full of the joys of speedway this week. If you're not interested in speedway you probably would have found it dull. You're probably not interested in speedway so you are being spared.

Gordon's Word: SOME UGLY ONES ABOUT

 

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Wednesday 13th July

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

Never seen him happier!

Must be looking forward to being the Official Olympic Torchbearer when it comes to Bournemouth!  I think he's expecting it.

Gordon's Word: OLYMPICS SOON

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Wednesday 6th July

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"  

The Great Timekeeping one is not looking forward to the summertime. "It'll be packed down here".

He's equally unimpressed with the lions that have been sprouting up around the town, including our very own Mister M's lion outside our barber shop. It's not really ours as that would have cost £5,000 but it is outside our shop and was free. Gordalf foresees problems due to it's weight. Not sure what it's too heavy for though.

Expect to see a few lion jockeys around town on Friday and Saturday nights, full to the brim with lion jockey juice.

Gordon's Word: DAFT, IT'S TOO HEAVY.

 

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Wednesday 29th June

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

This week, Gordon has been mostly speaking Speedway! Talked about nothing else, just the British Speedway Grand Prix held last weekend at Cardiff's Millenium Stadium.

Had the pleasure of meeting and having the obligatory picture taken with Gazza just before Gordon, but forgot to ask for Gazza'a Word of the Week! Will see if I can introduce them to each other for the ultimate in surreality. Could this be the start of GazzaWatch? Doubt it.

Gordon's Word:  DID YOU SEE THAT PUNCH UP? CRUMP ONLY GOT TWO POINTS. DID YOU SEE THAT PUNCH UP?

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Wednesday 22nd June

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

We're back and we're back in style.

Not really. We are back, but the style bit has not yet been added. Won't be long though, and it's most definitely worth waiting for.

He's looking happy, and why shouldn't he be.....he's wearing two coats! A bit like a dog with two tails or ***ks, but its coats and a tramp.

Gordon's Word:  ENGLAND ARE OUT. SPEEDWAY TONIGHT, SKINT.... SOON GOES DUNNIT.

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GORDONWATCH IS "DOWN" FOR 1 WEEK AND WILL BE BACK 22ND JUNE.

THIS IS DUE TO "ORANGE BROADBAND" BEING TOTALLY USELESS. APOLOGIES.

We are entering a new era of GordonWatch!!!

Last week's and many other weeks' of GordonWatch are now contained in the GordonWatch Archive. This is because the page had got very, very long, and every time GordonWatch was updated weekly, previous GordonWatch entries strangely disappeared into the ether.

I don't know where they went, but I do know that it's has been happening for a few months and I have only just noticed. Doh! Months of entries will never be seen again! GordonWatch gets 2,500 views a month, so at least they didn't go unnoticed.

Within the next week or three, this page will get a bit of a revamp, but until then........

 

Wednesday 8th June 2011

"FAMOUS PERSON GORDON WOULD LIKE TO BE WITH (AND WHY)"

We'll give Gordon another week or two with this, to see where it goes. He may raise his game, or he may just keep nominating himself. 

FPGWLTBW(AW): ME, IT'S CHEAPER

 

"GORDON'S WORD OF THE WEEK"

GordonWatch has gone 24/7!

We caught up with Gordon at a night time GB v Australia speedway meeting. Insisting on getting a lift home with Mister and Mrs M, he wouldn't take no for an answer. It would have made for some great photos, but unfortunately we were in a two seater. 

Gordon's Word: HERE IT COMES, A LITTLE BIT OF SUNSHINE.